Good evening fellow cybernauts, it is I, Juicy DeFlagelot, Empress of Tittynutcummings, here to again caress the inner nodes of your entertainment gland in the hopes that it may secrete delicious droplets of concentrated fun. So take a break from poking at your keyboard for a mere few Earth minutes to read my stimulating words.

Today's topic is: MYSPACE.
Purely because I fucking despise the thing, and more often than not I am much better at discussing topics which I have a passionate fiery hatred for. If you asked me whether I liked Myspace six to eight months ago, I probably would have told you that there is no better alternative and that of all the convuluted, overrated social networking sites on the internet, it is without a doubt, the best. Oh how foolishly young and naiive I was.

Of course, I've since realised the truth. And the truth is, Myspace is shit. There's no dancing around it like a cautious Lebanese prostitute delicately circling a bubbling tarpit to recover her lost thong, it's just plain bad. There is a multitude of reasons for this, but perhaps the chief argument of all is that it attracts douchebags. And not the funny kind of endearing goofy douchebag that everyone likes because they're borderline retarded and serve more as a loveable daft clown rather than an antagoniser, I'm talking full-on arrogant, conceited, vain douchebags. The worst kind, I know.
Now I'm only generalising here. Not EVERYONE on the site is an asshole. But most people are.

I was browsing profiles the other day and I could have sworn I was looking at the same person over and over again. All the guys are vapid, brainless twats with the same annoying newage hair cut who think listening to Lily Allen and reading Catcher In The Rye is deep. The women are much the same - shallow, dull and only concerened with how high their friend count is and which hot boy with an obviously photoshopped face is commenting their new display picture.

You're not 'keeping it real' by writing in your About Me that everyone wants to fuck you. No, everyone does not want to fuck you. Unless they're a vapid skank like you.
No, I'm not going to "pc4pc" you or comment any fucking picture just so you can look more popular.
I wish these fake plastic sad excuses for people didn't add me, but they do. Sigh. I suppose it gives me the pleasure of FUCKING DELETING THEM at least. And then they wonder why their friend count, which they've been closely monitoring, dropped by one for some reason - god forbid.
Want to know why?
You're ACTUALLY a bit of a cunt, that's why.

Yeah I'm done.